This guest post originated from a twitter conversation about the effects of having too much company in the newborn period. Carolyn from Moments in Mommyland graciously agreed to share the changes she made when her second child was born.
My first delivery was a bit of a blur. It was long, draining and emotional. My son was descending in a posterior position making things slow and giving me painful back labor. Once he was finally in my arms, I was beyond exhausted and very weak. So weak in fact, that I couldn’t walk across the room without help. But being excited first time parents, we wanted to share our joy and excitement! Within an hour of him being born, the world knew through phone calls and Facebook that our little bundle had arrived! It wasn’t long before people began showing up to visit, despite the fact that I hadn’t even had a chance to shower yet. To say I didn’t feel like socializing would be a huge understatement!
So when it came time to have our second, I laid down some ground rules.
Rule number one: No visitors at the hospital except immediate family!
It felt a little cruel, as I knew there were many who were excited to meet our latest. But it took away so much pressure knowing that I didn’t have to look presentable or make small talk. I could doze in and out of sleep when needed and it allowed me endless skin to skin time. Very important when trying to establish good breastfeeding! It kept things private, and I really cherish the memories of that.
Rule number two: We allowed a very limited number of visitors during our first week at home!
Again, I know everyone was excited, but I was tired! Unlike the first time, my labor was fast and intense. It also happened in the middle of the night resulting in being awake for 48 hours. Once home, I was not only adjusting to life with a newborn again, but also with an active toddler. So we instead planned an informal get together for a week later where everyone could come together at one time to meet the baby.
Rule number three: Let the housework and cooking go!
This was and still is a huge struggle for me, since I like to be organized and keep to schedules. But it’s just not worth the added stress when you are tired and hormonal. Just leave it! Right now your job is to take care of your children and yourself, period.
Welcoming a new life into your family is an incredibly special time. I encourage you to savor and enjoy it. They are babies for such a short amount of time, and before you know it they will be walking, talking and no longer depending on you to fill their needs.
So go ahead and make your own rules. Do whatever you need to do at the time and have the confidence to say no when things are becoming too much for you. Focus on what’s best for your family and your baby. You’ll be glad you did.
What would you do differently after your next baby?
Carolyn Bechard is a stay at home mom living in Vancouver raising two boys aged 2 years and 3 months. She the voice behind momentsinmommyland.com, where she writes about the daily ups and downs of her parenting journey. Though some days are hard, there is nothing else she’d rather be called than wife and mother.
You can follow her on facebook at www.facebook.com/momentsinmommyland
or on Twitter @carolynleanne